I want to start this dreadful month of valentine’s by posting a love poem I wrote a long time ago…

UNLIKELY ANGEL 

I have always been afraid to show my feelings
I am always unsure of what to say
I always thought I’m a lonely loser
Trying hard to hide the pain inside

For so long, I was kept prisoner of a lost love
And after all this time
I’ve kept my distance
No one came close, not until you came

You came to my life, simply unexpected
You were a perfect stranger…
But somehow it felt like knowing you
All my life

Everything happened so fast
I couldn’t help but be afraid
Afraid these are all lies
But I trusted you and erase all doubts in my heart

You’re my unlikely angel
It feels like destiny
For so long I was dreaming
Dreaming of you to come into my life

The angel that’ll take away all the pain
The angel that’ll light up the darkness
The angel that’ll fill all the emptiness
And who’ll love me forever…

The time is passing
The time is nearing
What are you doing?
What Am I doing?

Everyone has its aim
Everything has its purpose
Have you done your part?
Have I done my part well?

In this great play, we are the cast
To play the roles that we had set
It’s up to us how we will act
The only spectator, the One from up above

In this unrehearsed drama of ours
Presented the cineramic stage
That is full of action, suspense, comedy
A melodramatic production in one

Are you playing your part well?
Remember, we have the ultimate audience
Carefully watching this endless show
I wonder, how am I scoring?

Will God smile at me?
Will He tell me that eventhough I screw up most of the time
He still appreciate that I am trying my best
Am I making Him happy? I certainly hope so…

I used to be a stranger
A puzzle who couldn’t find its place
I let myself be drawn by the riddles of life
I ventured through the ocean of fate
Hoping I’ll find a home…

Out to this darkness where a hundred doors
Lead to a thousand more
And where towering walls
Forbid the flow of sunrise
I was caught by the shadows of faults and failures
And fought my way through the rain…

My heart full of emptiness
I wanted to reach you…
If only this road could lead me to a path
Where I could find a place
A place that seem unreal
And where true happiness
Lies ahead for all of us…

Have you ever felt like you are unworthy of all the blessings that God is giving you? I often feel that way, that I’m undeserving of His grace, His love and His compassion and I sometimes wanna ask God “why He keeps on loving me?”

UNWORTHY

I surround myself with fences
Strengthen my defenses never really knowing why
My walls became a prison door without a key
Shielding myself against the pain

All my hopes and dreams are fading fast
My days and nights were filled with grief
There’s an overwhelming sadness
My eyes couldn’t shed another tear

I call upon You, Lord
I’m not worthy, but I need to be loved by You
I surrender in Your arms
Please embrace me & comfort me

I failed to be the person You ought me to be
I stubbornly did everything my way
I’m ashamed that I dishonored Your name
I’m so unworthy of Your grace

I give thee all that I have
My life is in Your hands
Break me & mold me
May I be the one You wanted me to be

So unworthy, yet You were the One who lifted me up
So unworthy, yet You chose to love me
So unworthy, yet You gave Your life for me
So unworthy, yet Your love saved me

Thank You, Jesus for being the Savior of my life…