Just a trivia, I have always been terrified by the month of August simply because back in August 3, 2001 my lupus journey had begun and I’m not sure if it’s just coincidental but most of my nasty lupus flares has always been during the month of August, that is why I always fear when August draws near but since I’ve been sick last June-July I hope lupus can spare me this time and my lupus angel will help me pray for some healing, I badly need a break from being sick!

I honestly can’t remember the last time I posted something about love in this blog, I always post my love thoughts in my other blog Just Let Go but this time I think I’m in the mood for a little love thoughts here…

I miss being in love. It’s been quite awhile and I think I had forgotten how it feels like to care about someone and to be loved as well. I think my heart grew cold and numb after years of isolation and heartaches, I thought I can live without love and I honestly thought I am happy being single, I guess, I’m wrong. I may have been cynical about love, I may project a strong persona but deep inside I am still the hopeless romantic quickmelt who wrote love emotions on tissue paper. The years may have passed and love has passed me by, but the belief that somehow I can still find true love never fades.

Yes, there was a point I gave up waiting, I gave up looking for love but it was when I wasn’t looking that I have found it… I’m not sure where its heading, I cannot even say this is finally it but I guess I’ll let the future worry for itself and I’ll just enjoy this moment..

It is true that we don’t really know what we’ve got until it’s gone, but what we don’t know is what we’ve been missing until it arrives…

Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.
Psalm 27:14

I’m still not feeling well but I’m slowly getting by… I’m starting to get irritated, I just feel pathetic. Imagine being sick for almost one and a half month now and it seems I still have to count more days. There’s nothing new in my life except for new doctors that I’ve been forced to see. At thirty years old, I have a cardiologist, neurologist, ophthalmologist, dermatologist, nephrologist and rheumatologist I underwent several medical examinations in just a month time and the pain is oftentimes unbearable. I just wish it could be over real soon and I can somehow go back to my life, whatever’s left of it.

The blogger is currently out of reach and is confined at the hospital… be back soon!

I’m still sick and not feeling well. Everyone is already worried about me, I already lost appetite and my mom wants to check me into the hospital already but I strongly refuse because being in the hospital makes me feel more sick than ever. I really pray that this sickness will be over and I’ll feel much better soon. Thank you for all the well wishers, I really appreciate it.

It’s been awhile. To those who left some remarkable and touching comments on my latest post Chasing Time, thank you so much and I’m sorry if I have not paid you a visit. I am very sick and my doctors said I should rest for a week or so but I have some stuff to finish so I’m here still blogging even for just awhile. Just a quick not, my herpes zoster re-occurred and this time it affected my right eye. I cannot open my right eye for days now and I’m still having some terrible headaches. I’m battered and torn, hopefully I can get out of this very soon.

“The only thing that cannot be recycled is time wasted.”

I’m thirty years old. I’m single and sick. It feels like time is running me over. I feel like I’m a clock rapidly ticking and I’m running out of time… It’s a scary thought that I may actually spend the rest of my life alone and I can never found the “one”

Quite honestly, I’m not really worried that I am still single. I am enjoying my life and since I am sick, I don’t want to be a burden with anyone. But still, I worry about the future and what if I never find myself in love again. I want to be married someday and although everyone said that I cannot bear a child, I am still hoping that I could have my own child someday.

I’m not really sure what the future holds but my days have been so toxic, I sometimes don’t notice that a day has passed. My life is like a routine and although I love my life, I hate the fact that I don’t feel challenged and there’s no excitement in my life. I must be nuts for thinking this way but I just hear the clock ticking and it’s racing against my thoughts.

I had a terrible weekend. I wasn’t able to go online yesterday because of my dreadful headache. My doctor said it’s still part of herpes zoster and I have to endure the pain for at least six months… goodness! My right eye that was affected by the blisters is starting to ache as well. I think lupus also made a short comeback because I felt so tired and weak yesterday. I used to fight it and still try to work but yesterday I gave in to lupus and just sleep all day. I hate it when I am having a bad day because of lupus, it always reminds me that I am not normal no matter what I do but what’s the use of fighting the illness, it get tiring sometimes and I really have no choice.

Hopefully, tomorrow will be a new day!

Good night everyone!

A tag from ate Jen, thanks

Just some fun blogging questions.

Participants: 1. Me and Mine 2.Creative In Me 3.Little Peanut 4. Pea in a Pod 5. Sugar Magnolias 6. The Salad Caper 7. All Kinds of Me Stuff 8. Aggie Scraps. 9. Winding Creek Circle 10. Mommy Talks. 11. A Slice of Life. 12. Jenny Said So 13. This and That 14. Simply Jen 15. Dancing With Butterflies 16. Blessed Chic 17. Just Let Go 18. Twisted Angel 19. Pieces of Me

RULES:
1. Add your blog/s to the list. Feel free to add all your other blogs. It’s okey if you only post this questions in one blog as long as you answer them.
2. Get back to Me {YEN} and I’ll add your blogs to the master’s list here!
3. Tag as many friends online you know. But you don’t need to be tag in order to join.

QUESTIONS:

1. I posted this experiment at URL: http://emmyrose.com
2. I posted this on date (day, month, year): Friday June 2008
3. I posted this at time (24 hour time): 13:18
4. My posting location is (city, state, country): Makati City, Philippines
5. My blog is hosted by:
6. My age is: 30 yrs old.
7. My gender is: Female
8. My occupation is: Engineer and Entrepreneur
9. I use the following RSS/Atom reader software: FeedBurner
10. I use the blog format to post to my blog: Wordpress
11. I have been blogging since (day, month, year): been blogging since March 22, 2004 at my bravejournal blog and here is my very 1st post
12. My web browser is: Fire Fox
13. My operating system is: Windows Vista

Now, I’m passing this tag to: Ester, Rosemarie, Imelda, Julai, Nova, Sasha, Milet and Vicy

After ten days of isolation, I finally was able to go to the mall yesterday. My dermatologist said that I’m not contagious anymore and my red marks from herpes zoster healed faster than expected and the red marks will be off my face in due time, I just need to be more patient.

I went to the mall with my mom after my check up and it’s so wonderful to be at my haven once again. We had dinner at the newly open Gerry’s Grill at our place and I had my favorite baked scallops. Last night was a treat but I think I have overdone it again because on our way back home my costochondritis attacked once again and I experienced chest pains again, I hate it when it happens. But there’s no way it can keep me from going out again today, there’s just so many things that I need to accomplish and I’ve been resting way too long, I just need to be extra careful and move slowly.

I’m off to my dermatologist today. It’s been a week since I was diagnosed with Herpes Zoster and the blisters in my forehead are starting to heal but it still doesn’t look good at all. I always wear a hat when I go out because I really feel ugly because of those red marks in my forehead and I hope my dermatologist will prescribed me something to heal it faster so I can have my normal social life again. I miss going out with my friends and having coffee with them at Starbucks, I miss going to the mall.. arrgh I’ve been staying home far too long and I desperately need to go out.

I updated my blogroll yesterday and I removed some dead links. I also deleted some blogs who never visited my blog for almost three months, I just don’t want to be linked to anyone who does not even know me. I also found out several links that does not link back to me, that’s really rude! I’m still open for link exchange but I’m limiting it to bloggers that I feel is sincere and not just for anyone who just wants to increase their ratings for monetizing their blog. I want some quality links not just any links. Am I being to snobbish, well, maybe I am but I don’t really care.

I’m currently updating and cleaning my Linky Love. I’m removing the links who have not visited me in ages, I don’t want to be rude but I just don’t want to be linking to anyone who does not even bother to say hello once in a while. So if I deleted you and you feel you’re not supposed to be removed, just leave me a message. I’m also adding some new links for my new blogger friends.

Happy Tuesday to all!

Got tagged again by Tere!
Rules in sharing Crytal’s Love:

Share this award with all those blogs out there that you love. All the people who make you smile. All those that make you laugh. All those that make your day. All those that leave uplifting comments on your blog. **All I ask, is that you include a link to this post with the award and ask your recipient to do the same**

I share this award with those of you whose love and friendship have enriched my life and made my world a better place. I hope by passing this award around the blogging world we can all help raise awareness of the need for Organ Donation.

Sharing some love to Bro.Mel, Ester, Vicy, Imelda and Arlene

I have a new blog…

Twisted Angel

This is my fifth blog and my third domain site. Yeah, I’m not quite sure how I can still handle having another site but what the heck I just love working on a new site and maybe you’re wondering why I have chosen the name Twisted Angel, well, it has nothing to do with the song of Le Ann Rimes but I just feel that even though I’m a devoted Christian, my thoughts about God can be twisted… well, basically this is just a different side of me that will probably surprised those who really knew me. Hope you can check it out sometime. It’s still on its constructing stage, but I’ll appreciate your visit very much. I also have a new web host and I just feel I won’t be experiencing too much of a downtime and it’s affordable too, so why not get yourself your own domain and host it with bluehost…

I’m currently contagious and I cannot go out because I might infect somebody with my virus. I’m bored to death and I’m starting to be irritated. What’s worse is that every time I see myself in the mirror and the blisters in my forehead are starting to dry up but I’m not sure if they’re going to leave a nasty permanent mark, I will definitely hate that. I don’t really consider myself vain but I am conscious with how I look and I like to take care of myself. I always try to squeeze in my busy schedule, a day of pampering and a day devoted for me alone. A trip in the spa, having a whole body massage or having facial treatment with my dermatologist, among many girly stuff. Well, maybe I’m a bit of vain afterall. Now, as I stare myself at the mirror I’m worried that this “shingles” will make a permanent mark on my face and I’m quite sure it won’t look good at all. I’m hoping against hope that it won’t and it would just heal by itself. I’ve been staying at home for almost four days now and I’m beginning to be restless, it’s a good thing I can shop online at Beauty Warehouse and it takes away the boredom that I’m feeling.