The nights are getting colder and colder. I love this weather. The chill is very much a delight for a lupus patient like me because we can go out even if there’s sunlight because the heat won’t bite us. But still, having sunscreen is a must. I am not sure though if this cold weather is suitable with people who are suffering from arthritis like most lupus patients I know. There are a lot of arthritis treatment nowadays, and I hope you can find one that will work well with you.

It’s been eight difficult years with Lupus and I used to say that I am waiting for a miracle, it is only on my recent birthday celebration that I finally realize that everyday of my life is already a miracle in itself. I know that I am blessed and it is by the grace of God that I am once again starting to recover from my longest flare ever… when almost everyone thought it was the end of the line for me, that finally lupus had won… lupus may have crippled and ruined my life, my dreams and probably my future but it didn’t destroy my spirit. I know in my heart that no matter how painful my struggles are, God is way much stronger than anything else and with Him, I know I can do anything…

I really pray this could be it… the answer to all Lupus patient’s prayers!

We are one giant step closer to the day we have been waiting for…

It’s been four years ago since this picture was taken…

Exactly four years ago when I slipped into coma and was in the ICU for almost a week. It was only a miracle that saved me back then. Being in the hospital is not something new for me but this memory is the most devastating  yet most inspiring as well. My journey with lupus is not easy and I know there will be times that my strength can no longer sustain me but my faith in God keeps me holding on and I do believe that healing comes only from HIM.

God bless us all!

The sun is shining brightly today. After almost a week of rain, it’s refreshing to feel the sun rays again. Yes, it’s known fact that being sick with Lupus the sun is my ultimate enemy but still I am glad that the rain is finally over at least for now.

I received a very surprising and exciting email this morning…

Hi!

Congratulations! Your readers have submitted and voted for your
blog at TheDaily Reviewer. We compiled an exclusive list of the
Top 100 lupus Blogs, and we are glad to let you know that your
blog was included! You can see it
at http://thedailyreviewer.com/top/lupus


Dancing With Butterflies

Top lupus blogs

I was really surprised and flattered. I have to admit that ever since I got sick, I’m not really blogging that much. There’s just so many emotions that I just want to keep for myself, I am a bit scared to deal with those emotions. Blogging can stir up those feelings that I rather want to keep unspoken. It’s just too painful and I’m not ready to deal with it just yet.

I am also not inspired to blog, maybe I’m just lazy or busy with other things like playing on Facebook goodness, I gotta have a life. I may be an Engineer but I am a writer by heart that is why I know that I will keep on blogging, I just need a little bit more time to be inspired but with this recognition for my blog I am definitely grateful and somehow encourage to blog about how lupus affected my life. I still want to inspire people who are dealing with a chronic illness like me, that there is hope and healing comes from our God and no matter how painful our struggles can be, and our journey can be so depressing, God remains faithful even if we’re not and He shall give what our hearts desire, let’s just keep our eyes on Him.

Thank you for this recognition and have blessed day everyone!

It seems that my days are becoming longer and longer, and yet time seems to passed by me onso quickly. I guess that’s what I need to bear while I’m home recovering from a very long lupus flare. Yes, I am bored, annoyed and frustrated. As much as I wanted to be optimistic about my situation right now there are still times that I just feel sad that I cannot do the things that I wanna do because I am sick and my life is again on hold. I sometimes feel invalid, useless and hopeless but I just can’t do anything about it.

It’s been a very long journey with lupus, August is my anniversary month, its been eight painful years and my battle seems to be difficult than ever. I know lupus is supposed to be a chronic illness and my doctors said that I’m going to deal with this illness for the rest of my life, but I am still holding on to my faith that God is my ulitimate healer and there is no disease that He cannot heal, and I do trust in Him that He will heal me from this illness in His own time. But right now, I just need to endure the pain and wait till this flare goes away and I can go back in living my life.

Those were the days of fun… *sigh* I’m a bit sad because I really miss my friends, I miss going out and I miss having fun. I feel like I’ve been sick for so long now that my life became so boring that even I can’t believe is happening to me. I sometimes think if this is my reality or my destiny perhaps, I feel like someone with disability and I just can’t function anymore. There is so many things that I wanted to do but this lupus is preventing me to fulfill my dreams.

I know that these too shall pass and sooner or later I will be back and I will live, but as for now as lupus takes the better part of me and putting my life on hold, at least for now.

Facts about lupus:

• No new treatment has been approved by the FDA to treat Lupus in over 50 years.

• An estimated 1.5 million Americans have a form of lupus.
  Lupus results from an immune system that is out of balance, causing it to become destructive to any organ or tissue in the body.

• The health effects of lupus include heart attacks, strokes, seizures, kidney failure, and miscarriages.

• Symptoms, such as fatigue, skin rashes, joint pain and hair loss mimic other conditions, appear differently in different people, and can increase or decrease in severity from day to day.

• It can take years to diagnose lupus. More than half of the people with lupus visited three or more doctors and suffered four or more years before being diagnosed.

• If left untreated, the health consequences of lupus can be devastating and potentially fatal.

• An estimated 80 percent of Americans know little or nothing about lupus.
  

There seems to be much evidence that Michael Jackson suffered from Lupus.  There have been many reports of him suffering from the disease since the mid 80s.  In 2003 he attended a Lupus LA fundraiser.  In October, 2007 “sources close to the pop star” told Fox news that he had Lupus.   After Michael’s death, spiritual teacher and medical doctor Deepak Chopra told People Magazine that his longtime friend Michael Jackson suffered from Lupus for many years. There are numerous pictures of him with what could easily be a Lupus rash on his face.  Lupus might explain his avoidance of the sun, his rumored drug use, or some of his erratic behavior.

So, the question is, why are none of the major news outlets covering this story?  Why is nobody investigating these reports?  I can only guess it is because the story of a superstar abusing drugs for recreation is a far more tantalizing story than a man suffering decades with chronic pain, insomnia, depression, anxiety, etc. and using medications to try to get through each day like hundreds of thousands of us do every day.

I for one can very much relate to balancing a fear for your safety and life with the desperation to ease the pain and suffering.  Taking a little more medication than last time because you just have to get some relief and rest but being terrified that this time it would be too much.

If this is what happened to Michael Jackson, the world should know about it!  Not only does he deserve the truth but it will save lives!  And, even if his Lupus had nothing to do with his death, the awareness that could be brought to a disease that desperately needs it, while filling in a missing piece of the Michael Jackson puzzle would be world changing!