I sometimes feel I am just like this fish in the fishbowl… Alone and separated from everyone else.
This is how I sometimes feel when I am with my Christian friends. I know they love and care for me, I can feel their sincere concern about my condition but I don’t know why I still feel that I’m an outcast, like I don’t belong with them. Yes, we get along just fine but still there are times that I feel isolated, maybe because they’ve known each other for so long and I am just new to their group or maybe because I don’t make an extra effort to really get to know them. I’m not really sure what’s wrong but what I do know is that I am deeply saddened that I feel like this when I’m with them. I sincerely want to be close with them because I know they will be a great influence in my spiritual being but I just feel I’m an outsider and it’s even frustrating that I don’t feel anything like this when I’m with my non-Christian friends.
Is there something wrong with me?
I bet that fish is as lonely as I am, even if she wanted desperately to swim along with the other fishes, she just can’t because she’s trapped in this fishbowl and has been kept a prisoner. I’m just like this fish being isolated from a fishbowl and I feel so alone. I wonder if I’ll ever feel at home there and its making me unhappy and I pray that God will give me wisdom to know what to do with my spiritual struggle that seems to never end.
