I’m celebrating my 2nd spiritual birthday tomorrow. Second because it was on August 8, 2001 that I renewed my faith in the Lord.

I first accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Saviour during a youth camp on May 1995 but at that time I was still very young and maybe I did not fully understood what it means to be a born again Christian. I took a slide and I was at the wilderness, trying to find my way around. It was only when I had fallen very ill with Lupus that I renewed my faith and fully accepted Jesus in my heart.

I became a servant in the Lord’s ministry, I gave up my job and fully committed my life in serving God. I turned away from the comfortable life I am accustomed to have and really went on my way to serve and please God. I thought that was God’s plan for my life and I was honestly happy with what I’m doing but I’m not sure what God had in mind when He let something terrible shook my faith and trust from my church. It was back in December 2004 that I experienced the greatest sadness in my life, a betrayal from the people I trusted and learned to love. It was also the lowest point in my life, it still brings me great sadness every time I think about what happened. It was during these times that I turned my back in the ministries and stop going to church.

I am once again at the wilderness, I know where to go but I am definitely lost. I know which way to take but I’m scared to take that path again. For some time now, I managed to keep my faith in God despite my absence in the ministries and irregularly going to church. There was a time that I had become so far away with God that I can’t even pray to Him anymore but through it all God never ceases to love me, although many times I feel unworthy of His grace, He always keeps me blessed and loved.

I am still in the wilderness, trying desperately to get out from it. It’s a struggle and I know I had forgiven all those who had hurt me, I am just finding a hard time forgetting what they’ve done but I know at some point I need to let go and forget, so that I can have a clear view of the road ahead and finally use the lowest event in my life into something great.

“God allows us to experience the low points of life in order to teach us lessons we could not learn in any other way. The way we learn those lessons is not to deny the feelings but to find the meanings underlying them.”

Originally posted at: Blessed Chic