*sigh* I’ve been trying to stay away from my laptop and I’m not really in the mood for blogging just yet but sometimes I feel writing is my only friend, this is where I can unleash all the sentiments that I’ve been trying to hide. I don’t really talk about my lupus with my friends and all the frustrations and disappointments it’s causing me because I just know they wouldn’t understand. Why? Because I don’t look sick at all. You take one good look at me and you will find no trace that I am suffering from lupus, I’m not sure if having this invisible disease is an advantage. Of course, I don’t want to look miserable and ugly but I hate always have to explain to people why I can’t do that or why I can’t go there or why it hurts to walk that far. I try to act as normal as I can be, the last thing I need is to look awful and sick but I may try to pretend like I’m not sick but deep inside I feel weak and exhausted. Sometimes I feel like shouting at the top of my lungs and just whack my head off, it might just wake me up from this dream, that maybe I’m not really sick.
3 Responses to “Not Really Sick”
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Enjoy your stay and God bless!
I'm Emmyrose, a Filipina Engineer, frustrated writer and a born-again Christian. My life used to be perfect, at least that's what I thought.. until I was struck by an invisible disease called Lupus & everything in my life changed. Dance with me as I journey through this life with a chronic invisible disease.
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Before deciding upon a holiday spot, be it a beach destination or ski resorts, a few things need to kept in mind. Firstly a list of hotels should be prepared. Only after checking the availability of flight and desired hotel on same dates, airline tickets and hotel reservations should be made. Details like enquiring about car rental services can be taken care of later.
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May 14th, 2008 at 10:44 pm
sis.. i’m sorry to hear this.. but i know your a very strong person, don’t try to pretend sis.. and wag mo alagaan sick mo, much better to enjoy life as much as we can and lets think this way, what if today is your last day? do you think u have done a best day?
*hugs* if you need someone to talk too.. i’m here to listen and talk to you…
May 15th, 2008 at 2:01 am
Christine Miserandino shares her story about what it is like to have lupus. You should check out her web site. There is a lot of support and help there.
http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/the_spoon_theory/
If you cannot read the spoon story there, here is another link that also has her story.
http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/the_spoon_theory/
My fiance has Mixed Connective Tissue Disease. This is Lupus plus a few other autoimune diseases. I know what you are going through
May 15th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
if i could hug i would. i know at this point that is one thing that would at least help. and the thought na nde ka nagiisa. i just said a little prayer for you.