I personally don’t believe in Santa Claus. When I was a little child, I remember being just like everyone else during Christmas eve silently awake, waiting for Santa to deliver my gifts and I wonder if my letter is one of Santas Letters that can be granted that night. But no matter how I try to stay awake that night, I couldn’t. And in Christmas morning I could find my gifts under our tree but no sign of Santa.

As a child it didn’t occur to me the reality about Santa, I just wanted to believe him and the mere fact that I am always getting my gifts that I asked for makes me want to believe him even more. I am after all a very good child and I think I deserve some cool gifts from the man in the red suit.

Just want to share with you a snippet of the interview of Santa, a revealing look at the North Pole and an incident that almost ruined Christmas.

Noel Sommers: So Santa Claus, what are your thoughts on Christmas in these modern times?
Santa Claus: I’ll be honest with you, I have mixed feelings. On one hand my job has gotten a whole lot easier. Santa tracker GPS makes global navigation a snap; my blackberry gives me instant updates on toy assembly, Naughty & Nice list names, and my cocoa bean stocks. And my laptop allows me to type up personalized Santa letters much more efficiently…

But, on the other hand, I face the same problems everyone else does with all of this technology. There can be loopholes, and sometimes it can be difficult to make sure all the children “play by the rules.”

Noel Sommers: …what do you mean by “play by the rules?”
Santa Claus: Well, kids these days are hip to the new technologies. They’re smart. They’re much smarter today than they were even several years ago.
A child MUST be good all year long to receive a personalized Santa letter and personalized Nice Certificate from me… that’s just the rules. I don’t make the rules, oh wait, yes I do! (Trademark Santa laugh again)

Noel Sommers: …so are you implying that some children are not following the rules you have designed?
Santa Claus: I’ve never really talked about this publicly (Santa leans forward as to tell me a secret)… but to be perfectly honest with you, recently some children have hacked into my computers. They manipulated my data to make it appear as if they have been good, when all along, they’ve been part of the naughty list.
Noel Sommers: My gosh! That is naughty. Did they get away with it?
Santa Claus: Well, luckily Arthur Honeytree (the lead Elf) noticed something funny going on when Timmy Warchickles showed up on this year’s Nice List.
Noel Sommers: Wait a minute. Isn’t little Timmy Warchickles the child that posted your personal phone number on his MySpace.com account to over 73 million people!?!
Santa Claus: (Santa is visibly shaken) Yes… the scoundrel! I had to immediately disconnect my phone. I was getting over 12,000 Santa calls a second! It was quickly resolved thanks to our technical team up here at the North Pole.

The whole incident still shakes me up a bit. Can you imagine, naughty children receiving a precious personalized Santa letter AND a Nice List Certificate? It would’ve been sheer chaos! Things would have never been the same. (Santa shivers)

Noel Sommers: Scary stuff. Christmas would have been a disaster! So the personalized Santa Letter and Nice Certificate system is working now?
Santa Claus: Yes. (sigh) Not only is it working properly, we have redesigned the whole program. I call it the “Package from Santa” Program. It’s a top secret campaign to ensure that all deserving children will receive my handwritten, personalized Santa letter as well as the personalized Nice Certificate. This Christmas, I will let the cat out of the big red bag… uh, so to speak. I assure you… this is BIG!
There’s going to be no doubt about Santa Claus… er, I mean “me.” (Santa smiles)
The “Package from Santa” Program is also being implemented with a more efficient warehousing structure, allowing us to send out additional custom goodies, such as collector tins of reindeer food… that was Rudolph’s idea, bless his heart.
Of course, only well-behaved children get the extra goodies… no cheating this time!
Noel Sommers: This does sound exciting! Tell me more!
Santa Claus: With this new system in place I’ll be able to write a personalized letters from Santa to each and every child. I mean… the good ones of course. Then we’ll have our customized Nice Certificate, a special piece of my magical red suit and a lot more. Each letter from Santa package will be unique and special.
I just love the reactions when well-behaved children get their personalized letter from Santa! And now everybody can be confident that only the deserving kids will get such accolades.
That’s about all I can discuss about the top secret “Package from Santa” program right now…

Noel Sommers: …I understand. (Knowing that Santa Claus has averted answering this question in every interview he has ever done, I try to press my luck…) So, how do you deliver all of the special Christmas gifts in only one night?

Santa Claus: (Santa begins to lift himself out his cozy chair) Noel, I do apologize sweetheart, but it’s time for me to go feed my reindeer. We’ll have to save that question for our next interview. (Santa winks)

So now, do you need to write letters to Santa? Maybe the next time you check your mailbox you could find Letters from Santa, now isn’t that exciting?

Posted on Friday, May 9th, 2008 at 9:25 am and is filed under Miscellaneous, Random. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.