“In a full heart there is room for everything,

and in an empty heart there is room for nothing.”

It’s almost three in the morning and I just can’t sleep. I’m trying to erase any thoughts that would only bring sadness to me but I guess the time has come that I can no longer escape whatever it is that I am feeling. If you take one look at me, you’ll probably say that “I’m perfectly alright, that I don’t look like I’m suffering from a lifetime dreadful disease“.. and yes, I am quite successful in pretending that I am okay, I just don’t want people to take pity on me.
  I try so hard to be happy, or at least to look happy and well. But am I just pretending? Perhaps, because the truth is I’m really miserable inside. I only try to console myself that God has a purpose in everything that’s been happening to me and that in every dark tunnel there’s always hope that I could see the light very soon. But quite honestly, although I trust God and put my hope in Him there are times that I just wanna scream and say that I’ve had enough, that I wanted to give up, that I can no longer get through another day knowing that I gotta face the bittersweet reality that nothing good seems to be happening my way. My life is like a hollow shell and I feel so alone and empty in the inside, like a shallow piece of junk. No one can see the tears I cry every night and no one can feel the sadness that’s been with me for the longest time. Will it ever end? I sure pray it will, because I don’t know how long can I carry a smile in my face and pretend that I am just fine.