“Don’t blame suffering in the world on the anger of God. He’s not mad; he didn’t mess up. Follow our troubles to their headwaters, and you won’t find any angry or befuddled God. But you will find a sovereign God.
Your pain has a purpose. Your problems, struggles, heartaches, and hassles cooperate toward one end — the glory of God.”

~Max Lucado, It’s Not About Me~

I can’t remember how many times I have blamed God for all the heartaches and the sorrows that came my way. I remembered when I first learned that I have Lupus and my life will forever be changed because of that illness, my first thought was “why me, God” and I pointed out to God if I have been so undeserving, have I been so screwed up in my life that now He is punishing me? Is He angry with me or something? And at the end I found myself blaming God and being angry with Him. For a while, I kept my distance I even came to the point that I stopped praying and I thought, I can do it on my own and I don’t need God. I was a rebel child, I felt God has forsaken me and He don’t love me anymore.

It took awhile before I started to realize who am I kidding, all my life God has been good to me. He had given me everything I wanted and so much more, He has never left my side and He has always helped me when I need Him the most. I know, from the moment that I accepted Jesus in my life as my personal Lord and Savior I did not just take part of His glorious moment but I also have to take part in sharing His pain. Everyday, God is teaching me how to humble myself and accept that my pain has a purpose. My illness taught me so much about life and although I still complain and rant about it especially when the pain is so strong I have learned to embrace it, to live with it with grace… knowing that it was given to me for a reason and although I still don’t have any idea what reason could that be, I only need to trust God and have faith that everything He does is for my own good.

God never stopped loving me, He was not angry with me even though I am undeserving of His goodness, He loves me so much that there is nothing that I can do to make Him love me more and there’s nothing I could have done to make Him love me less. God loves me unconditionally and not everything is about me, there’s a greater good for all our sufferings and struggles we just need to be patient and let God do the work…

God bless all of you and for more of inspirational In Other Words visit On The Horizon.

Posted on Tuesday, December 18th, 2007 at 12:03 pm and is filed under CWO: In "other" Words, Inspirational, Lupus. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.