Before I was diagnosed with Lupus, I was a plan-ahead kind of girl. I’m very organized and I usually plan ahead so that I won’t be wasting time, and I hate it when things don’t go the way I want them to be.

Now, six years after Lupus I cannot live on a schedule, I cannot plan ahead and I cannot have a long-term plan.

Why?

Because Lupus is very unpredictable.

One day, I’m fine the next day I’m not. One day, I feel like a super hero like I can do almost anything and then one day I’ll be feeling so tired like I’ve climbed up Mt.Everest and back. One day I feel like a normal person that I’ve been yearning to be since I had Lupus. Then one day there’ll be butterfly rashes again on my cheeks telling me that I need to slow down or else my Lupus will have another flare.

*sigh* The reality of my disease is sometimes difficult to understand and I’m still in the process of getting used to it and I’m not loving it but I’m starting to learn how to embrace it so that I won’t be feeling bad all the time.

I am not really praying for a miracle, just enough grace to get me through and I know that God loves me and everything that’s been happening has a reason and I may not completely understand why but I trust God and I got faith that He has a better plan for my life than I have for myself.

I had a wonderful weekend. After ranting of having insomnia attacks again I was able to have a good night sleep the last night and I was able to rest the whole day. Today, after attending church my family went to the mall and just hangs out. We were window shopping for new appliances and my brother and I both agreed that having a home theater system with the LCD monitor is really something we would want to ourselves. Of course, if we could only afford it. It’ll really be nice to have something like that, don’t you think? And to add to the theater effect how about having a popcorn machine, in your very home. That will really be awesome.

One of the things that I love about Christmas is sharing and receiving gifts. I always love shopping for the holidays and with just a few weeks to go, we should really start getting gifts for our loved-ones. Last year, I received a couple of gift cards from our clients in the office and I had a wonderful time using it that I plan to buy gifts cards myself, to give out to my friends.

Sometimes I’m running out of gift ideas and I always like to give a personal touch when I’m giving out presents so that the receiver will know that I have carefully thought of him/her when I bought that gift. It’s the only time of the year where you can express your gratitude to the people who had been very nice to you, so give them what comes from your heart and they will surely appreciate it.