Life circumstances are not always what you might wish them to be. The pattern of life does not necessarily go as you plan. I, for instance never thought that Lupus will drastically change my life and all of my plans. This disease brought so much disappointment and frustrations, and it made me realize that I have no control on everything that oftentimes we need to rely on God’s grace just to get by.

There are days that I wake up in the morning, feeling so sick and all my plans for that day will be shattered. Its frustrating and sometimes annoying. Again, one day of my precious life will be wasted lying down because of this disease and what’s more heartbreaking is that only a few can understand what I’m going through because I don’t look sick at all. I was even accused before of faking my illness, making it an excuse to live my life normally oh how I hated that person and I even wished that she’ll be struck with Lupus so that she’ll know the pain I’m going through. Lupus, is often called an invisible disease because there’s no clear manifestations or symptoms for the disease all we have is a rosy butterfly mark on our cheeks every time we’re exposed in the sun or having a flare. This is the reason why I named my blog “Dancing With Butterflies”

When you are facing such difficulty in your life and there seems to be no way out, what do you do? When God seems silent and distant and you feel like you’re all alone.. Many times I feel that way but I’m trying to keep the faith and rely on God’s promises.. He repeatedly promised,

“I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
Joshua 1:5

And when I feel like I’m all burned out and I just can’t take it anymore, I always say to myself..

“God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.”
1 Corinthians 10:13

I am not really praying for a miracle, just enough grace to get me through one day at a time and I know that God loves me and everything that’s been happening has a reason and I may not truly understand it but I’ve faith that He has a better plan for my life rather than I have for myself.