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I just wanna say thank you to all the well-wishers who greeted me on my special day. I’m sorry if I hadn’t visit your blogs, I’m just so swamped with work and I got a lot of deadlines to beat. I had a very wonderful birthday and I’ll share some photos and stories very soon!

I also received a good news for this blog, besides receiving tremendous traffic and great reviews. This blog is also accepted to various paid blogging sites, I’m delighted to have an extra source of income but don’t worry I will still keep the purpose of this blog and I’ll keep on posting inspirational entries. Google also gave me a present, this blog (Dancing With Butterflies) and my other blog Just Let Go has received a page rank of four in just nearly four months, I am so happy! I’m doing some revamp and updating on my sidebar, so don’t be surprised if it gets tweaky today and the next few days. God bless, everyone!

Today is my special day. I’m officially thirty years old *sigh* I had a simple but very warm birthday spent with the people I love. The Sunday message today felt like it was made solely for me.. “God’s Delay are not God’s Denials” it was as if God was speaking to me directly and answering all my questions. Our pastor said that we have wishes or longings that we present to God and sometimes, the waiting was too hard to bear that we sort of thought God’s abandoning us. I feel that all the time, I kept on praying to God to heal me from this illness but to no avail and no matter how optimistic I try to be, most of the time I feel like crap! Deep in my heart I know that God will deliver me from this sickness and He will grant me complete healing in His own time, I just need to be more patient. If I look back at my life, I have no reason at all to complain for I have been blessed and loved by God and I have everything that any person should be happy about and still I feel that happiness is like an elusive dream.

I’m tired, it has been a long weekend full of celebrations and I still need to get up early for a road trip with my college friends, sort of an extended birthday celebration. I am doing a revamp on this blog very soon… I am sleepy now but I just can’t let this day pass without thanking the Lord for everything He has done in my life. He alone deserves the highest praise and honor.

I collect candles and I often use scented candles as part of my aroma therapy. I found this great site that sells an extra-ordinary candle. Soy Candles are environment friendly, they burn cleaner and much longer than paraffin candles that reduces the release of carcinogens into the air. It is handmade by a biodegradable soybean wax. They use only the best quality of fragrance oils in the market for a more revitalize aroma. Its fragrances are so calming that can make you more relaxed and find serenity for your soul.

Soy candles by Maddison Avenue Candle Co.Inc also offers private labeled soy candles or letting you create a visual image that sum up your company’s persona. They will design a special label exclusively with your own business name or logo. You can purchase wholesale soy candles online and they will ship your orders directly. And through private labeling you can now sell your own line of soy candles. You can choose from various calming aromas like Gardenia Blossoms, Honeysuckle and my personal favorite Lavender Vanilla.

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I am fascinated with butterflies, not only because it’s the only manifestation of my lupus illness but because it represents how something insignificant can become so beautiful. It also symbolizes that change maybe difficult and painful but sometimes we need it to find something worthwhile.

Most people search for happiness, myself included and many times I told myself that I am happy but in reality I am only convincing myself that I am happy, because I’m not. Yes, my life is okay… I should be feeling good, after all I have been very blessed but no matter how I try to be optimistic about my condition, I fear that I’m not really doing any better. Maybe I’m just having some birthday blues or lupus anxiety is just attacking me once again or probably I’ll blame it to the gloomy weather but I am so sad and I don’t even know why.

They say you shouldn’t chase for happiness, I am not.. at least I already stopped trying because I have learned that happiness should come from within and like the butterfly, once you try to catch it it’ll fly as far as it can but if you turn away, it’ll probably come to you softly and gently…

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing,

give thanks in all circumstances;

for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

~ 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

There was so much that I needed to finish that I almost missed Thankful Thursday again but God has a way of making you realize that He should always comes first and for that I am sorry for even thinking of missing today’s Thankful Thursday…

Yesterday, I had my routine check-up and the laboratory results were not good and my doctor said that I should undergo kidney biopsy just to verify the status of my lupus nephritis. I was deeply saddened and worried. I don’t wanna undergo anymore procedures, I’m just scared. But I thank God that He never ceases to comfort me and last night I totally surrendered everything in His hands completely putting my trust in Him and today, I woke up feeling cheerful and I realize I have been so blessed that I needed to give him back my gratitude…

I am thankful that I’m celebrating another year in my life on Sunday and although my life didn’t turn out the way I planned it, I feel blessed and happy.

I am thankful that I only had one needle shot yesterday (I was averaging 4 shots every blood test) it was painful but I’m starting to have high tolerance in pain.

I am thankful for my family especially my mom who’s always there for me.. I love her so much and I appreciate all her sacrifices for being a single mom.

I am thankful of all the financial blessings that God is continually giving us, although life has been tough He has never left us empty-handed.

I am thankful that I have my blogs, it really helps me release stress and my rantings about having lupus and now, I am starting to earn from it…

I am thankful for the advertisers who wanted to sponsor my blog.

I am thankful for the kind-hearted people who emailed me, it’s flattering that I have become an inspiration to them… It’s always wonderful to be an instrument of God.

I am thankful that God gave me wisdom to know what to do in times of turmoil and distress.

I am thankful that God saved me from the Glorietta Explosion. I was only minutes away and it was a good thing that I left early.

I am thankful for all the birthday greetings that I have been receiving and the gifts too, it warms my heart to be remembered.

Lastly, I am thanking God for the strength that He has been giving me. Many times I was on the verge of breaking out or giving up but God always manages to bring me back and to hold on to my faith…

I know that this illness was given to me for a reason, I don’t exactly know the reason why but I am praising God everyday for the miracles He’s showing me through this sickness. Praise be to God!

I’m sorry for not visiting your blogs, I have been away the whole day. I mean I spent all day at the hospital again, well not to worry just routine check-ups and I’m a bit glad that my results were okay there’s still a lot to take care of but I’m trusting God to do all the rest, He after all knows what’s best for me. I’m receiving early birthday gifts from friends and I’m really delighted. I’m tired and I got deadlines to meet. Take care everyone!

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“We women must realize how visual men are, and because of that we should wear modest clothes. Not because we don’t have the right to wear what we want, but for the benefit of the spiritual life of our brothers in Christ.”

~ Heather Arnel Paulsen ~
Emotional Purity: An Affair of the Heart

Our church recently imposed a dress code for all members especially the youth and young adults. Most youth was upset about it and murmured that the elders don’t have the right to tell them what to do and since we’re living in a free country we should have the right to choose whatever clothes we want. I get their tantrums, I myself was a bit guilty of not dressing accordingly and I realize that it’s very wrong. Since the Havaianas explosion I often go to church wearing those slippers and Sunday dresses was a bit corny now that I switch to casual ones. I only wear skirts when I’ll be singing in the choir or presiding at the church service. I had forgotten that although our physical appearance don’t matter to God, how we present ourselves in God’s presence truly matters.

Yes, it’s the modern times gone is the traditional dresses that we used to follow. While having a conversation with my choir mate she told me that we must wear what we want and go against the church policy and if no one follows them they can’t send us all to disciplinary action. I do hate rules and I don’t really like it when someone tells me I can’t do this or that, I guess that’s just my rebellious side but I truly understand where the church leaders are coming from. They don’t intend to go back to the traditional ways, they just want us, the ladies especially to know that we should refrain from going with the world. We are God’s children and we should always be seen as a reflection of God’s holiness. We should respect ourselves and dress in a way that we could gain respect. We should not let anyone fall into sin just because of our provocative way of wearing inappropriate clothes.

Emotional purity is such a difficult subject to teach our younger generation but they should realize that God sees all the impurities in our heart and although He still loves us no matter what, we should be the mirror of God’s purity to others. Physical appearance does matter, whether we like it or not and we should always honor our God even in the way we present ourselves to others.