It’s way past midnight and I’ve been trying to sleep but for some reasons I’ve been tossing and turning for hours now that I finally give up… sleep ain’t gonna happen to me anytime soon. The past week had been toxic. Since I took a vacation to Bicol last week and my fingers are swelling in pain, I couldn’t get some decent work done for a couple of days, not to mention I’ve been feeling so down and exhausted too. The past days I had to catch up on my work and beat my deadlines, I haven’t had enough time to blog or to visit my blogger friends. Last Wednesday, I finally had my check up I know it’s pretty irresponsible on my part I should have seen my doctor a few weeks back but I keep delaying it. For the sole reason that I’ve been feeling so great lately that I fear that my laboratory results will tell me otherwise and it will bring me back to reality that I am still sick with lupus. The pain from my fingers made me want to see my doctor and somehow find relief to what I am feeling and yes, my laboratory results indicated that lupus is still very much active in my kidneys that it’s making such a huge amount of protein leak, I felt really bad. I guess I was having so much fun and I’m trying to forget being sick by engaging myself with normal activities just to prove to others and to myself that I am well and I am stronger than lupus. I thought just because I feel good about myself automatically healed me from lupus but I guess I’m wrong.

I don’t want to dwell so much on it for it may cause me more depression in the coming days and I’m still feeling so down. I guess, I need to be inspired, I need to find something extraordinary to cheer me up and so far there’s just nothing…

Living with lupus sucks! Well, it does and there’s nothing much I can do about it. I am thankful that somehow I still got my faith and I want to stay optimistic. I am hanging on to God’s promise that He will not give me something I cannot carry and I know when things gets out of hand, I can always turn to God. Now, I am praying to have some good night sleep and hopefully tomorrow will be a happy day.

I am saddened to hear about many people losing their homes because they’re not able to pay their mortgages. It’s heartbreaking to see families being pulled out from their homes and the children, doesn’t even have a clue that they just lost their home. It’s truly a tough time for most people but don’t let your dream house be taken away from you seek the help of mortgage lenders and find a better way to keep your home.

Summer season is not just a time for swimming, it’s also a time for town fiesta and interactive sports in the community. It’s basically having fun and I think getting involved with sports is the best way to beat the summer boredom for students having their vacation. Now, that summer is about to end championship games for various sports will soon take place and I hope the organizers already ordered baseball trophies in time for the big game everyone is looking forward. Hopefully, my cousin’s team will win.

I discovered another fast cash site and it’s truly amazing how our financial worries can be solved in just a click. Maybe you’re a bit reluctant to try it out, I have some reservations about it too because I’m thinking if things are too good to be true then maybe they’re not. Yes, I’m cynical about getting loans over the internet because they may have some hidden fees and they will just give me more headaches but for someone in need of immediate cash, applying for payday loans is something more advisable than asking anyone in your circle of friends or even members of your family for money. I just don’t think mixing money matters with your personal relationships will do you any good. And all you have to do is check out those sites and see if you qualify to what they’re offering, read carefully before committing on anything and simply rely on your instincts and your keen observation.

Is summer over so soon? Earlier tonight the rain poured so hard and I heard from the news that there’s a storm somewhere in the country this weekend and it got me thinking, is summer already over? I know, I’ve been constantly ranting about the heat and how it annoys me knowing that having lupus makes the sun my worst enemy but the thing is I love summer, I’m a beach lover too and I would have enjoyed the sun if I can. I even wish to have a tan during my Boracay summer escapade with my friends but I’m reluctant to soak myself in sun rays even if I have tons of sunblock with me. Well, I think summer is ending soon and I want to go swimming again at least for the last time before the rainy days starts to kick off and everything will be drenched in water again.

Do you need to have some quick cash right now? Well, don’t even think I’m loaning you any money but I know a place where you can get easy and fast cash advance. It’s something you will look forward to when you are having a hard time to meet ends meet. You can apply for cash advance loans from $100 to $2,500 depending on your immediate need and what’s nice about it is that it can be deposited to your bank account or credit union account in just a matter of overnight, now that’s fast and easy, right? All you have to do is meet their simple qualification and you are on your way in getting the finance aid you urgently need. Money worries gives us headaches and it also very stressful to think about it, so why not give yourself a chance to get that burden out of your hand and check out how you can get the loan you need to help you.

Fuel took another price increase over the weekend and it’s now in its all-time high, it’s another painful attack on our budget and with the oil prices continues to climb, we really need to tighten our belts even more and find creative ways to save on our finances. It’s difficult to stay on a budget when prices of the basic commodities are unstoppable and we may cut some of our unnecessary expenses and stick on the ones we truly need but still we fall short especially when there’s an emergency need for quick cash and there’s no one you can turn to. It’s a good thing online payday loans are available for us, it helps us to meet our needs when our next pay check is still very much far off. They are loans that are fast, reliable and easy. Truly a hassle-free way of unburdening our finances woes and helps us get back into our feet until we can catch up on the daily cost of living nowadays.

Are you suffering from bad credit history? Many people are suffering from this one and oftentimes it is a hindrance for them to apply for a new loan because most companies will no longer trust them. Don’t worry now, you can apply for credit cards and loans even if you are suffering from bad credit. Badcreditoffers.com gives you a chance to redeem yourself and start rebuilding your credit reputation by providing you enough resources that you can choose from to apply for bad credit loans. This is your big chance to prove to your creditors that you are worthy of second chance and rebuild your credit history. Everyone needs to get loans at one point and it is such a misery if your bad credit history can be a hindrance in getting yourself approved. Consumers can now choose from the various resources and you’re already on your way for financial stability.

Thanks to Lira for the tag…

Here Are My Top 5 Things To Do:

1. Finish my deadline this weekend.
2. Finish updating my site and post some link assignments.
3. Catch on my sleep.
4. Clean my room.
5. Buy a gift for my cousin’s christening on Sunday.

Now, I’m passing this tag to: Rosemarie, Liza, Tere, Arlene, Marie and Moccalyn

The other day I went window shopping with my mom while we bought a wedding present for a friend and I was so amazed by the new TV available in the market today. They are just so attractive, classy and I’m quite sure those flat screen TV will look great in our living room. Even though I didn’t own any of those yet, I got a pretty TV in my own room, now I only need a tv wall mount for my TV for a more comfort watching.

My mom’s long time childhood friend that resides in North Carolina was on the phone with my mom the other day, discussing how painful it is with their age to get sick and she said that my mom was so blessed that she is as healthy as she can be, while she’s been sick for ages and if not for her North Carolina health insurance she could be in debt because of her medication. Well, at least she has something to be grateful for and I really hope she’ll get better soon.

I was in the middle of fixing my sidebar when I noticed that today is my first ever post for this month. I find it rather unusual and it’s not that I’m tired of blogging but sometimes I just need to take a moment for myself and I’ve been feeling really low for the past few days, and even my recent trip to Bicol didn’t ease the loneliness I felt. I blame it on lupus, simply because I can’t think of anything to feel bad and I have every reason to be happy but I’m not. I thought by leaving the blogging world for awhile will help me find whatever it is I am searching for but apparently, it did not. So stick with me as I bash out and I’m still in a sad mode.

I personally don’t believe in Santa Claus. When I was a little child, I remember being just like everyone else during Christmas eve silently awake, waiting for Santa to deliver my gifts and I wonder if my letter is one of Santas Letters that can be granted that night. But no matter how I try to stay awake that night, I couldn’t. And in Christmas morning I could find my gifts under our tree but no sign of Santa.

As a child it didn’t occur to me the reality about Santa, I just wanted to believe him and the mere fact that I am always getting my gifts that I asked for makes me want to believe him even more. I am after all a very good child and I think I deserve some cool gifts from the man in the red suit.

Just want to share with you a snippet of the interview of Santa, a revealing look at the North Pole and an incident that almost ruined Christmas.

Noel Sommers: So Santa Claus, what are your thoughts on Christmas in these modern times?
Santa Claus: I’ll be honest with you, I have mixed feelings. On one hand my job has gotten a whole lot easier. Santa tracker GPS makes global navigation a snap; my blackberry gives me instant updates on toy assembly, Naughty & Nice list names, and my cocoa bean stocks. And my laptop allows me to type up personalized Santa letters much more efficiently…

But, on the other hand, I face the same problems everyone else does with all of this technology. There can be loopholes, and sometimes it can be difficult to make sure all the children “play by the rules.”

Noel Sommers: …what do you mean by “play by the rules?”
Santa Claus: Well, kids these days are hip to the new technologies. They’re smart. They’re much smarter today than they were even several years ago.
A child MUST be good all year long to receive a personalized Santa letter and personalized Nice Certificate from me… that’s just the rules. I don’t make the rules, oh wait, yes I do! (Trademark Santa laugh again)

Noel Sommers: …so are you implying that some children are not following the rules you have designed?
Santa Claus: I’ve never really talked about this publicly (Santa leans forward as to tell me a secret)… but to be perfectly honest with you, recently some children have hacked into my computers. They manipulated my data to make it appear as if they have been good, when all along, they’ve been part of the naughty list.
Noel Sommers: My gosh! That is naughty. Did they get away with it?
Santa Claus: Well, luckily Arthur Honeytree (the lead Elf) noticed something funny going on when Timmy Warchickles showed up on this year’s Nice List.
Noel Sommers: Wait a minute. Isn’t little Timmy Warchickles the child that posted your personal phone number on his MySpace.com account to over 73 million people!?!
Santa Claus: (Santa is visibly shaken) Yes… the scoundrel! I had to immediately disconnect my phone. I was getting over 12,000 Santa calls a second! It was quickly resolved thanks to our technical team up here at the North Pole.

The whole incident still shakes me up a bit. Can you imagine, naughty children receiving a precious personalized Santa letter AND a Nice List Certificate? It would’ve been sheer chaos! Things would have never been the same. (Santa shivers)

Noel Sommers: Scary stuff. Christmas would have been a disaster! So the personalized Santa Letter and Nice Certificate system is working now?
Santa Claus: Yes. (sigh) Not only is it working properly, we have redesigned the whole program. I call it the “Package from Santa” Program. It’s a top secret campaign to ensure that all deserving children will receive my handwritten, personalized Santa letter as well as the personalized Nice Certificate. This Christmas, I will let the cat out of the big red bag… uh, so to speak. I assure you… this is BIG!
There’s going to be no doubt about Santa Claus… er, I mean “me.” (Santa smiles)
The “Package from Santa” Program is also being implemented with a more efficient warehousing structure, allowing us to send out additional custom goodies, such as collector tins of reindeer food… that was Rudolph’s idea, bless his heart.
Of course, only well-behaved children get the extra goodies… no cheating this time!
Noel Sommers: This does sound exciting! Tell me more!
Santa Claus: With this new system in place I’ll be able to write a personalized letters from Santa to each and every child. I mean… the good ones of course. Then we’ll have our customized Nice Certificate, a special piece of my magical red suit and a lot more. Each letter from Santa package will be unique and special.
I just love the reactions when well-behaved children get their personalized letter from Santa! And now everybody can be confident that only the deserving kids will get such accolades.
That’s about all I can discuss about the top secret “Package from Santa” program right now…

Noel Sommers: …I understand. (Knowing that Santa Claus has averted answering this question in every interview he has ever done, I try to press my luck…) So, how do you deliver all of the special Christmas gifts in only one night?

Santa Claus: (Santa begins to lift himself out his cozy chair) Noel, I do apologize sweetheart, but it’s time for me to go feed my reindeer. We’ll have to save that question for our next interview. (Santa winks)

So now, do you need to write letters to Santa? Maybe the next time you check your mailbox you could find Letters from Santa, now isn’t that exciting?

Maybe you noticed that I changed back my theme, I just miss my header so much that I decided to have it back. Since my blog crashed when I upgraded my wordpress, I’ve been trying to redo my entire blog and decided to retain its original template. The sidebar still needs a lot of work and it would be nice if I could add some flash components to enhance the look of my site. I just think adding flash components to a website makes it more appealing and attracts more visitors. Now, if only I could find time to finish updating this blog, hopefully over the weekend I can get things rolling again.

It’s been almost a week since my last entry. I got back from my trip to Bicol last Monday and I’m still very exhausted. I finally had my trip to the hospital to see my rheumatologist and I cannot say that I am great but I’m getting better but my laboratory results still indicates that Lupus is very much active and is targeting my kidneys. Should I be worried? Nah, maybe later I’ve got so much work to do and a lot of deadlines to beat. I’m experiencing a sudden meltdown and I just need to take a break and be with myself for awhile. I just hope things will get better soon.

I’m off to Bicol tomorrow and it was an impromptu trip that I just can’t say no. It’s sort of a business trip with leisure on the side. I don’t really want to leave but I know I need this trip, the past few days I’ve been struggling with some deep emotional stuff that I am trying to ignore. I know, I have the tendency to run away whenever I’m faced with something so complicated to handle but I am not running away, I am simply trying to have some fresh atmosphere to help me have a new perspective.

Be back in a while!

Please note that I am still in the middle of this site. Sorry for the glitches in the sidebar. Feel free to comment and leave me a tag, I’ll get back to you as soon as I come back. Please check back again soon.